I haven't been posting on my blog for personal reasons, and for that I apologize. But I have started a new blog, and there will be posts almost everyday :)

I'd greatly appreciate if you'd check it out

HERE

thanks

♡

Lovely Second Skins

Hello Hello lovelies. What better thing there is to do than curl in an oversized tee shirt up with Queen music playing and the comforting glow of a laptop on your face and blog? That's right. Nothing. Except the same thing with pizza. Or doughnuts. Ugh food. 

Anyways. Tonight I will be writing about clothes. Yep, the seemingly arbitrary pieces of cloth we cover our naked selves with. I have only recently come into my style (which we'll get into), but I know some girls know theirs from a young age. I was never exactly the fashion guru... and I wore clothes I would never wear now up until pretty much 7th grade. I was never big on dresses or skirts, perhaps because I didn't think they flattered my body. I had, and still do, lean towards a less feminine style of dress. But let's take a step back before we look at my style of dress. 

I have expressed that I feel that now, in highschool,is a vital time for us young whippersnappers to find ourselves, and yes, clothes are a pert of that. Adults make fun of teens for going through "Phases" where we wear dark eye makeup, or flowers in our hair, or band tee shirts or whatev. But how else are we supposed to find what clicks if we don't try out everything? Mmhm. Exactly. So yes, we might do a bit of

But finding what feel most comfortable and natural for us is super cool. Not all teenagers just dress to fit in. Though fitting in inevitably a big part of clothing styling and decision-making, i find that in the end you always settle with what is truly you. God, this sounds sooo cliche. I'm trying not to, I swear. 

But now let's talk about my path through the wonderful process of finding my style. I didn't really pay much attention to the clothes I wore throughout early elementary. Does anyone, really? But when I reached 5th or 6th grade, all the girls around me began talking about "fashion" and "trends" and I was still wearing the same, unisex clothes that didn't really have anything special about them and certainly weren't "Fashionable". What I am thankful for though, is that at the school I was at my lack of fashion sense didn't loose me any friends, nor did it make people dislike me. But I remember my first attempt to buy clothes to fit in very, very clearly. The biggest thing at that time was skinny jeans. Oh how all the girls loved skinny jeans. I remember I had these awful boot cut jeans that just weren't doing it for me so I asked my dad to take me out to buy skinny jeans. We went to a department store and I picked out two to try on. It was a revolutionary moment, and I'll share something embarrassing with you because hey, it's in the past. When I was in the dressing room in the skinny jeans, I was so excited that I posed in the mirror for like 15 minutes straight. And that's not even the worst part. There was this girl who went to my school at that time who was maybe a year or two older. I won't name her, but she was "cool" to me. She wore makeup and talked about her ex boyfriends and wore skinny jeans. And she was popular and kinda the bad girl type because she knew bad words and didn't care about school and painted her nails black and all those stereotypical signs or rebellion. So when I was trying on those jeans, I felt like her. I imagined myself as her, and I was so happy that I was finally going to be as cool as she was. Long story short, getting the skinny jeans didn't really change my life in the drastic ways I expected. But, it was what spurred me to discover my own style and try new clothing. So it's a good example of trying new styles for the purposes of fitting in and in the process finding things out about your own personal style. Also, an example of how girls sometimes feel the need to be someone else to be happy. I'm happy I'm not her now though. Life lessons, kids.

From then on my style improved, and when I discovered Chuck Taylors that really helped too. In middle school I wore button down shirts or tee shirts and looked very tomboy. And in 8th grade I really improved and was wearing overall clothes that I would say fit my style. But currently I think I am the happiest I've ever been in regards to clothing. I still wear, and love, my skinny jeans and converse. And now I've added the wonders of American Apparel to my closet and my absolute favorite- tie dye. I love tie dye way too much. It's an unhealthy addiction. I will literally tie dye any article of clothing and wear it. That's another thing I think is awesome. Homemade style choices. Go to a goodwill or thrift shop and find unique things that you can make your own. And making clothes is so satisfying because it is the best possible way to express yourself. Maybe I'll post about my homemade tie dye collection. We'll see.

So the point of this all is that style is a journey. 

So take inspiration from celebrities, movie characters, book characters, singers, writers, fashion bloggers, Youtubers, Tavi Gevinson, Beyonce, your mom, yourself.

 Take your time, try things, love it, hate it, throw it out, sew it, tie dye it, crop it, cut it, whatever. And if you think that clothing isn't a way you express yourself, then this whole post was a waste of your time. Sorry for not being sorry <3. But yeah. Don't be afraid to express yourself. [INSERT MORE SUPER LAME CLICHES HERE]

Anyways. YAY FOR TIE DYE

Goodbye for now

Say no to Patriarchy

express yourself

Ummm...

Kisses and many feminist vibes,

-Panteha

If you're gonna be a TV head, at least be a Feminist TV head

Hello Hello, 
As promised, Here is my complete list of tv shows that ALL kids should watch because they don't promote gender roles or conform to stereotypes. I still watch all of these so feel no shame in watching if you're not a kid. Unfortunately, none of these run on TV anymore because people are stupid, but complete episodes can be found on youtube and Netflix if you have it. They are ranked from Awesome to Awesome. So enjoy.

1) Kim Possible
I've already expressed how much I love this show. Basically, It's this red-head girl with awesome karate skills and cool sci-fi spy gear who deals with villains and evil people and all that with the help of her friend, Ron (who is in love with her, of course) and this pink rat who can talk. Don't ask. It's awesome and girl-power and yep. She's really brave and should be every girl (and boy's) role model. Much love for Kim. And she had a great midriff.

2) Pepper Ann 
UGH this show was amazing. From the 90s, Pepper Ann was this funky, spunky girl with frizzy hair and glasses who basically dealt with moral issues in her life. She was kinda awkward and geeky and AMAZING, and hung out with a group of outcasts and basically showed what friendship is really like. I liked it especially because she didn't feel the need to be "beautiful", but preferred reading and being intellectual which is (prepare yourself for the cheesiness) the most beautiful thing. Also, her mom's a hardcore feminist who is often contemplating the glass ceiling and proving that woman are just as strong and capable as men. GO PEPPER ANN'S MOM

3) Daria

Please, Please tell me you've seen this show. It's a group of pessimistic teens who show us the idiotic antics of the people around them through their eyes. The main character, Dara, is a wonderfully sarcastic, misanthropic girl. She takes us through her life with her friends and her experiences and embodies the highschool life perfectly. Not really for the really younger ones, but whatev. Amazing and awesome and perfect and YAY pessimistic feminists. 

4) The Secret World of Alex Mack

THIS SHOW. This show is so dang cool. It's this cool 90s girl, who wears overalls and hats and gets into a crazy science accident where she gets powers from getting radioactive goo spilt on her. She can do awesome stuff, but is also really smart, funny and has friends who love her. I watched it when I was... maybe 9 for the first time, and I felt so much girl power afterwards. It's a must watch, despite it's horrible special effects. She also deals the problems with highschool and popularity and what it means to fit in and all of that. As a bonus, it was also Jessica Alba's fist TV appearance, as the mean, popular girl. so that's entertaining too.

5) Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Yay, another girl with powers doin' cool stuff and figuring out highschool. Except she's a witch. And she's played by Melissa Joan Hart. So basically, it's awesomeness. I began reading the comic strips that were printed in the "Archie" and "Betty and Veronica" comic books, and when I found out there was a show, I was so happy. Her cat is a witch trapped in the body of a cat who is wise and chill, and advises Sabrina not only on her witch stuff, but on highschool as well. She deals with parties and popularity, and boys and it's from the nineties, so the clothes are interesting and the music is great. She's independant and smart and lives with her cool aunts (who I thought were lesbian moms when I first watched) and there are no patriarchal men and yep. pretty sweet stuff.

6) Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Ah, Buffy. Every feminist, no, Every WOMAN must watch this show. We have this beautiful, smart woman who finds out she's the chosen vampire fighter that is the only who who can save the world (or at least Sunnydale). She surrounds herself with close, loyal friends who get know as the "Scooby Gang". Not only is this show awesome because Buffy is wildly independant and powerful, but also because she is so real and human. She is a great, dynamic character that grows throughout the series. In fact, all the characters do. What makes this show extra awesome is that it had the first lesbian character on TV. Yes, Alyson Hannigan plays the first shy and timid girl who grows into a brave, strong and openly lesbian vampire-killing sidekick. Buffy not only battle vampires, but also her feeling for the bad boy vampire who she loves: Angel. Anyways yeah. It's a great, girl-power show that warms everyone's heart. Great characters, great storyline. Great, great, great.

7) Sailor Moon

I am obsessed. Not only do I love it because duh- anime, but I just love this story. This kinda ditzy girl named Usagi Tsukino meets this cat named Luna who tells her she's destined to save the world. Do you see a pattern here... cat... girl with powers. yep. So her and the awesome moon princesses 

Sailor Mercury- the brains

Sailor Mars- the psychic

Sailor Jupiter- the... tomboy (originally a lesbian in the original japanese version)

Sailor Venus- the cheerful one

Take on evil forces. they encounter the mysterious Tuxedo mask who turns out to be Usagi's true love. Just a fab show. 10/10 amazing. I the movies actually, before I saw the show. It was my 11th birthday and they were on VHS tape. Ah, memories. So sweet. So awesome. Please watch this show. So much girl power. So much feminist power. UGH so good.

 Those are all the one's I could think of right now :)

If you think I missed any, email me (email in the sidebar). So yeah. I hope I've given you some good material to watch, and I wish you good luck in you Feminist TV show adventure if you choose to take it. 

Kisses and Many feminist Vibes,

-Panteha

A Fabulous comeback

Hello,Hello. I know I have not posted in what feels to be an eternity but I was hit with, like, 10 cold viruses at once and was in no condition to be ranting. I have also been writing a work of fiction that takes up most of my free time. Also, school. Also... lazy.
 Anyways, the point is I'm Back (Yippee, hurray). So now that I have a break from school- oh wait. Un less you live in Arizona, you won't understand. You see, here in the great state of Arizona, kids are actually given a break off of school to go the the rodeo. I know. Only in Arizona. I'm not even going to start on the animal cruelty that rodeos have. SO now that I have a break off of school, I'm going to write again and be happy, and feminist-y and yay. So let's get too it kids.
I'm here today to rant about Disney movies. Particularly, Disney princesses (and women). As a little girl, I never liked the Disney princess movies. Why other girls were so obsessed with the doe-eyed, damsel-in-distress women I could never understand. I did like robin hood, though. He was one cute fox.

Mmmhm. 6 year old Panteha thought he was the hottest 'lil thing alive. 

Anyways. The princesses always frustrated me. Why would Ariel give up her voice and her beautiful fin for a dude she doesn't even know? I didn't get it. Why did it always have to be a prince who kissed the girl to wake them up? Was I the only girl who was like 

"ooohh Gurl, that ain't safe" when Belle started living with "the beast"? In real life, these stories would be horrifying. A stepmother poisons her own stepdaughter out of jealousy. Haha I don't think so. These women who were princesses, or mermaids, or chicks with bitchy step moms, embody all the things that I encourage girls NOT to do. 

1) Rely on men (Save yourself, honey)

2) Change yourself for others (AHEM Ariel)

3) Believe marriage is the answer (seriously, you just met him)

4) Believe that being the fairest of them all is where it's at (because it's not)

5) Sacrifice basic human rights for others (Again Ariel, seriously?)

Those are only a few. I do apologize to those who love Disney movies, but as a half black girl, I was wondering where the black princess was. But I'll rant about that god awful movie that they made just so they would have a movie for every minority race. I also did not like the Disney movies because of the unrealistic expectations they gave me. Seriously, no one's hair looks that amazing. Ariel? I have so many problems with you, you're firetruck -red hair right at the top of the list. All of your sisters are brunettes and blondes and then there's you. Genetics, man. Jasmin? I am half persian, and honey, No one's hair is the size of a tree trunk and down to their ankles. And their small, cute facial features left me looking in the mirror saying "is it even possible to have a nose that small?". Look, all their noses are the same. Literally. Even Mulan's. Even Pocahontas's. Girls are watching these movies over and over and over again and develop these ideas about what they should look like. Unrealistic expectation. Sorry ladies, but you'll never look like Cinderella. Their bodily proportions are just as whacked as barbie's. Also, the way they portray what romance is.... you can't be showing little girls (and boys) that true love is seeing someone once and kissing them and then getting married the next day. I'm not shooting down love at first sight, but still. And, it is impossible to live that close to royalty. You just don't encounter random, single, hot princes riding through the forest, ready to kiss and marry the first girl they see. I know that they're just cartoons, but don't you think that maybe there should be more realistic movies, or some at least where the girl isn't entirely relying on a male figure to save her from her oh so terrible predicament. So instead of having the little kids watching the disney princesses all day, what about some good 'ol Kim Possible? That girl was my hero. I mean, she was just so badass. 

AND she didn't rely on anyone. And her sidekick, Ron, was a respectful dude who totally knew how awesome she was, not some guy saying "Step aside 'lil miss, I wouldn't want you to hurt your delicate self". You know, cartoon network used to be pretty chill when it came to TV shows and movies. I will post my complete list of TV shows that don't enforce gender roles or stereotypes. Pinky promise.

I did appreciate Tangled, because I liked rapunzel's sass. Even though there was still that reliance on a male figure, I did like that she was a more dynamic character that wasn't just a cardboard cut-out programmed to find a prince and marry him. Flynn wasn't even a prince. So bravo on that one, Disney. 

You know what we need, though?

A Disney movie where the protagonist is a really girly-looking man, with a gender neutral name like "Quinn", and gender neutral pronouns are used throughout the whole movie. So the audience thinks that it's a chick the whole movie, but the prince or dude or whatever and all the other characters know it's a guy. Then the movie is great, and sweet and all that jazz. And then at the end in the wedding scene every disney movie has they're both wearing tuxes and it's like SURPRISE, he's a dude, they're gay and everyone knew and was perfectly cool with it. 

So yeah. That's all I got for now

but that was my fabulous comeback. 

Kisses and feminist vibes,

love and defying gender roles

-Panteha 

Ain't No "Barbie Girl"

Hello Hello all you gender role-defiers. Today, in the early hours of the morning (so... like 9:00)  I am going to rant to you about how the Toys are starting the gender-roles off at the youngest age possible. I went ahead and just google searched "girls toys", and I'll make  list of the things that came up:
"Kids Stroller", "Barbie Dream house", "Uptown Espresso Kids Kitchen", "My Very Own Vanity", "My Little Pony Make-up Kit" , "My First Nursery" (complete with a baby doll and all the items needed to take care of the plastic kid) and the worst of them all (in my opinion)- "Lego- Friends: Lego's For Girls". And many, many many more toys that prep girls to be the dolled-up, girly-girl, perfect housewives we're meant to be followed. Great. This is Great. 
And now I googled "toys for boys" (because "boy toy" is not the search I was looking for) and came up with some equally irritating results:
" Deluxe Wood-workshop", "Train and Track Set", "Lego Architecture", "Nerf-N-Strike Deluxe Rapid-fire", "Mega Wave Water gun", "Hot Wheels", "RC Helicopter" and again, many, many, many others that are just prepping boys to me the Manly-man, macho, gun-slinging dudes that are so idolized.
Ok. So what if a boy wants a kitchen? Or a vanity? What if a girl wants Ninja Turtles instead of Barbies? How often do you see a boy pushing a toy stroller down the street? The answer is "rarely". I don't understand why there is this distinct, clear-cut PINK vs. BLUE outlook when raising a child. Pink clothes, toys, bed sheets for girls. Blue clothes, toys and bedsheets for boys. You bring a pink onesie  for a boy's baby shower and there is confusion as to why "you didn't bring blue...". You buy a girl a set of toy monster trucks for her third birthday and she will be told that "they're for boys. not little girls". And what is up with this doll thing? I never got it. At all. I was a stuffed animal girl myself. And I rocked boy clothes for a lot of my childhood. Sorry, but I never got the appeal of playing with plastic, white girls, with unrealistic proportions, eerily smiling faces, and a clothes that, thankfully, don't exist in real life. 

I'm not even joking though. Beware. Girls grow up with these dolls as the "perfect image" and then don't understand why their waist isn't the same width as their jawline, why their breasts aren't torpedo pointy and size DDD, and why their legs aren't as skinny as bendy-straws, and attached to feet the same size as their hands. When little girls grow up with Barbie as their image of perfection, how do people expect girls to be comfortable with their bodies?

http://aramatheydidnt.livejournal.com/4816362.html

This article lays out the procedures through which hundreds of thousands of Japanese women have gone through to transform themselves into Barbie Dolls. Read it and weep. 

And then there's this whole new hype about "legos for girls". SERIOUSLY? I grew up building things with legos, and I still would except those sets are so expensive. anyways. So people were rejoicing because now girls had pink and purple legos, and lego people with boobs and makeup. 

Do we not remember when Legos- just "Legos" not "Legos- Friends"-  were for both sexes? What about when playing with legos wasn't boyish. Why have the Lego Ads featuring girls gone from this beautifully cute ad (just look at that smile *adorable)

To Animated polly-pocket looking girls with girls hair and skirts. Not overalls. We need to appreciate that ad so much more. You don't see girls portrayed like that in adds anymore. God forbid a girl is wearing overalls. Only boys wear overalls. Duh. 

There is no "Unisex" anymore. Dora and Diego. Barbie and G.I. Joe. I know that its great for the toy industry- having something for the girls and something for the boys. They're just rakin' in the cash from the gender-role perpetuation they're promoting without a second though. It makes me so angry that not only is this huge industry responsible for gender discrimination and kids feeling obligated to fall into the cookie-cutter Pink vs Blue roles, but also that parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, god-mothers, god-fathers, family-friends, cousins third removed, and grandparents are actually accepting and promoting the separation of "girl" from 

"boy" toys. 

So your son wants a doll, not a nerf gun. And your niece wants a light saber and Darth Vadar mask, not a toy makeup set. SO WHAT PEOPLE. Let it be. they're just kids. He doesn't have to be gay. She isn't automatically a tomboy. 

So just stop. Por Favor. S'il vous plait. Please. Expression as a child shouldn't be hindered because family member believe girls must behave one way and boys another. In fact, expression shouldn't be hindered by that at any age. 

So buy her Hotwheels, and let him have that doll. 

*Yay* for defying gender roles (Yippee hooray)

And don't be bogged down by the patriacrchal male. Thanks.

Xoxo and feminist vibes as always,

-Panteha

Oh dear god

Let's just take a moment to appreciate this.

are we done? ok good. If you're also feeling a lot of

Feminist-anger  right now I know exactly how you feel-

you just need to calm yourself with some Betty Friedan

Virgina Woolfe and Beyonce. 

 We can get through this together.

This is literally from Maxim Magazine.

No wonder people give us feminists so much hate.

UGH

I'm sorry I just can verbalize my anger right now

I literally jut feeling making a long string of angry

grunts and other noises because there are no words that I

can use to properly capture my utter disgust.

goodnight and goodbye- 

I am receding into my feminist lair for a night of angry muttering

and feminist plotting against the world and stuff.

Ooh la la

Please take a gander at this fine video by Paul O'Flanagan about "fitting in" and individuality and all that presented in the form of a 1950s cartoon. Can it get any better? Nope.
Beauty Now
And while you're there, browse through the Girls' POV section, there are some totally rad videos which I'm sure you'll enjoy. "Evolution" "Fourteen" and "naked: breasts" I recommend highly.
Enjoy
-Panteha

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Hello Hello and prepare to venture once again, back to the mysterious and dangerous place also known as my mind. Firstly, do ignore the sexist nature of my title, which I took from our well known, sexist song. How do you know I'm made of sugar and spice and everything nice? Oh that's right, you don't. Anyways, I chose it because I'm in a Little Rascals kind of mood, and though I won't be ranting about the Little Rascals, I have found some excellent gifs which I will be using from that glorious movie. 
Today, on this particularly regular tuesday, I will be ranting to you about boys.

Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help myself. Moving swiftly onwards. I am, as you probably know by now, in highschool.And as a highschool girl, of course I hear a lot about boys. Highschool is where girls start coming into themselves. We've gone through puberty so *magically* we don't have the bodies of nine-year-old boys anymore. Breast. Butts. Booty, hips, curves. And we like to feel pretty and confident, and for many girls (too many, if you ask me) the main way to feel confident and attractive is to have attention from the male species. It's no secret. Everyone likes compliments. But compliments from boys are special. well, unless the girl isn't straight- that's a different story. So let me put it this way- getting attention and compliments from whatever sex you're attracted to is  a very boosting, and desired thing for us highschool ladies. And for college ladies. and working ladies. there is nothing wrong with liking to be noticed, and being called pretty. sure, it's nice when a guy or girl or whatev finds you attractive. YES I know I kinda perpetuate the whole "I don't need your opinion" thing- which I believe in. But you get what I'm saying. Even though you don't need their affirmation to know how lovely you are, it's nice to hear.

Ok now I can rant. What I don't like- what I despise is when girls/women/female things degrade themselves for attention. Why do you think there is the whole "Ditz" character? For some reason, many men find the clueless, dumb girl who can't do anything but wear cleavage-y dresses really "hot". But we'll get into that in another post. This is for the girls/women/female things. Remember how we talked about... OK how I talked about how changing yourself for other people is the lamest most lame thing that anyone could ever do and you should never do it because it's lame?

Yes, I have a gif for everything. Get over it honey, I know I'm fabulous.

Well this falls under the whole don't-change-yourself-for-others-because-it's.... ok you get the point. I personally do not go to a school where this is a problem (thank god) but it really is at other schools. Girls feel like they have to be dumb and vulnerable for guys to notice them. The damsel in distress scenario is kinda hard to pull of in highschool because of the whole lack of castles and 200 lb. armor thing. So girls instead make themselves seem like they need help from some dude so that he'll be able to fill the desired manly-man, knight-in-LAME-armor archetype and swoop into rescue her from the evil math problem that she just can't solve on her own. Must I make a Mean Girls Reference?? I think not. 

Don't pretend you don't know things. UGH. Being smart is sexy. Knowing stuff is hot. If you degrade yourself, all you're doing is boosting the dude's ego, and it may seem like you're benefiting...but do you really want people thinking you're a "ditz". No honey.

Also, this whole thing about guys not liking girls who are smarter than them is such crap. 

Dudes- if you feel threatened by girls to the point that you only find those who are less intelligent than you attractive then you need to GROW UP. Women aren't just sacks of potatoes who just roll around and can't solve math problems or conjugate verbs in french class, waiting for you to swing them over your shoulder and carry them into the sunset. And if you don't feel threatened and you just "don't like them" then I don't know what's wrong with you, but obviously something is. Sorry, was that too harsh? Sorry for not being sorry :)

And for the lovely ladies. Be proud of you're smarts, and be proud of your everything. If you don't know how to do the math problem, fine. If the conjugation of "aimer" in french just doesn't click, cool. But be proud of yourself girl. JEEZ there I go being all  mushy and inspirational. I try not to, I swear. But I just want all you lovely girl/woman/female things to stop trying to make themselves dumber, ditzier, vulnerable..er? More vulnerable, more helpless. Be strong, and remember

Ok? Ok. And if you encounter someone who can't handle you in all your glory, then here are some steps to walk you through the process:

1. Smile 

2. flip you hair, or some equally sassy action (snapping gum, placing hand on hip rolling of eyes or all in combination are recommended) 

3. turn around

4. begin walking away

5.finish off with a 

And I think that'll do it. 

So yeah kids, that's all for tonight. Next post will be about the male side of this, and then another will be about my love for Jessica Rabbit and other Femme Fatale Characters... so *whoop whoop* look foreword to that I suppose. Don't forget to submit or write to me if you got anything to say (email in the sidebar, duh).

Be well, be swell. Ummm... don't lower youself.... Smart is sexy... I don't really need to recap the whole post.... my gifs are amazing.... Watch the Little Rascals...

Yeah. 

Kisses and many feminist vibes

-Panteha

Throwin' Some Tunes Your Way

A playlist to listen to when you feel the need for Feminist inspiration

and exhilaration. 

Enjoy

Braided Hair, Mocha Skin

Hello Hello all you beautiful creatures. It's been a while, I know. But I'm back in all my feminist glory to rant about something a little different tonight. Myself.
Hi, I'm Panteha Abareshi and I am, without a doubt, a woman of color. God, that sounded cheesy. But anyways- I am half Jamaican and half Iranian and Canadian (because I was born there...). The point is I'm all over the place. 
I spent the 8 vital years of childhood development (age 5-12) at one school, with a group of people that remain generally constant. I was the only black girl for a very long time, and all of my friends were white. I grew to envy them slowly, and racked my brain but couldn't grasp why I couldn't look like them. You see, I have this thing called an afro rooted to my head. I've had it all my life, and I don't think it's going anywhere. But all my friends had naturally straight, glossy hair and I Just Didn't Get It. I wanted so badly to have light, long hair that I could toss effortlessly over my shoulder as I laughed, or get cut into bangs. But I had, and still have thick, dark hair that grows out, not down. So I wore my hair in pigtails that my father would comb my hair into for me. Yep. 3-4 braids adorned at the ends with colorful beads, and held in place with equally colorful hair ties. And then I was introduced to perms. Hurrah! Now I could finally get the straight hair I had lusted after for so long. All I had to do was fill my hair with chemicals that made my scalp burn and made my ends coarser than steel wool. But I was overjoyed to finally be able to wear my hair down, and I felt like I fit in more. 

I'll spare you all the agony, and We'll fast foreword through the awkward year that elapsed between then and now. So, voila. Here I am. I'm still Panteha Abareshi. Duh. But I've realized something my younger self could've really used. I know now that I shouldn't change myself just for the purpose of fitting in with others. UGH THIS SOUNDS SO "SELF-HELP"-Y AND LAME. But I don't really know how else to say it, so go along with it kids. I don't have to. You don't have to. Nobody has to. If every kid changed themselves to act and look and talk and walk and smell and eat and think like one person- one "popular" "pretty" "perfect" person- then what we'd be left with would be a big, stinkin' pile of clones. 
INDIVIDUALITY IS 

I should have never hated my 'fro. Or wanted green eyes instead of my brown ones. I don't have to be fair skinned to be beautiful. I don't have to be a size 00 to be attractive. I sport my box braids proudly, and I honestly don't give a damn about what people think I should do to myself for this and that reason. I wear what I want (which is mostly just tie dye and jeans), act how I want and if people can't accept that then that's not really my problem anymore.

So to the "weird kid" who's hair is a beautifully kinky mess. To the "awkward" tall girl who towers above her classmates. To the "nerd". To the "losers". The "weirdos". "Freaks". "Geeks". To everyone who is deemed abnormal by someone who fits the random bill of perfection society has created: please, please don't make yourself change to please other people and fit in. 

God I hate that ridiculous saying. Fit In. The phrase suggests that life is like that stupid game babies have where they have to fit the shaped blocks into the specific holes. The circles into the circle hole. the Squares into the square hole. So where do the hexagons go? The nonagons? And what about the dodecahedrons? Ok, it may seem like I'm just showing off my extensive knowledge of geometric figures, but I swear I'm not. The point is this. Don't make yourself a square just to fit into the stupid, pre-cut hole. Ok. forget this metaphor. Listen up kids. It's really not worth it. I learned the hard way that changing for the people around you rather than for yourself doesn't do anything but make you miserable. In grade school  highschool, college, life (or whatever comes after school), it may seem lame and hard to find people you can relate with, but changing yourself to fit in with the readily available people will just suck even more. so... yeah. avoid that. If you just be yourself, then I'm sure you'll find people who you can accept for themselves and who accept you. In fact, I guarantee it- just like in the Men's Warehouse ads. 

So lets just all be weirdos together, and have weirdo relationships with other weirdos. Let's all be awkward, and strange, and funky and crazy together. And Let's just enjoy it. 

Goodnight from one PROUD weirdo to another

-Panteha