Lovely Second Skins

Hello Hello lovelies. What better thing there is to do than curl in an oversized tee shirt up with Queen music playing and the comforting glow of a laptop on your face and blog? That's right. Nothing. Except the same thing with pizza. Or doughnuts. Ugh food. 

Anyways. Tonight I will be writing about clothes. Yep, the seemingly arbitrary pieces of cloth we cover our naked selves with. I have only recently come into my style (which we'll get into), but I know some girls know theirs from a young age. I was never exactly the fashion guru... and I wore clothes I would never wear now up until pretty much 7th grade. I was never big on dresses or skirts, perhaps because I didn't think they flattered my body. I had, and still do, lean towards a less feminine style of dress. But let's take a step back before we look at my style of dress. 

I have expressed that I feel that now, in highschool,is a vital time for us young whippersnappers to find ourselves, and yes, clothes are a pert of that. Adults make fun of teens for going through "Phases" where we wear dark eye makeup, or flowers in our hair, or band tee shirts or whatev. But how else are we supposed to find what clicks if we don't try out everything? Mmhm. Exactly. So yes, we might do a bit of

But finding what feel most comfortable and natural for us is super cool. Not all teenagers just dress to fit in. Though fitting in inevitably a big part of clothing styling and decision-making, i find that in the end you always settle with what is truly you. God, this sounds sooo cliche. I'm trying not to, I swear. 

But now let's talk about my path through the wonderful process of finding my style. I didn't really pay much attention to the clothes I wore throughout early elementary. Does anyone, really? But when I reached 5th or 6th grade, all the girls around me began talking about "fashion" and "trends" and I was still wearing the same, unisex clothes that didn't really have anything special about them and certainly weren't "Fashionable". What I am thankful for though, is that at the school I was at my lack of fashion sense didn't loose me any friends, nor did it make people dislike me. But I remember my first attempt to buy clothes to fit in very, very clearly. The biggest thing at that time was skinny jeans. Oh how all the girls loved skinny jeans. I remember I had these awful boot cut jeans that just weren't doing it for me so I asked my dad to take me out to buy skinny jeans. We went to a department store and I picked out two to try on. It was a revolutionary moment, and I'll share something embarrassing with you because hey, it's in the past. When I was in the dressing room in the skinny jeans, I was so excited that I posed in the mirror for like 15 minutes straight. And that's not even the worst part. There was this girl who went to my school at that time who was maybe a year or two older. I won't name her, but she was "cool" to me. She wore makeup and talked about her ex boyfriends and wore skinny jeans. And she was popular and kinda the bad girl type because she knew bad words and didn't care about school and painted her nails black and all those stereotypical signs or rebellion. So when I was trying on those jeans, I felt like her. I imagined myself as her, and I was so happy that I was finally going to be as cool as she was. Long story short, getting the skinny jeans didn't really change my life in the drastic ways I expected. But, it was what spurred me to discover my own style and try new clothing. So it's a good example of trying new styles for the purposes of fitting in and in the process finding things out about your own personal style. Also, an example of how girls sometimes feel the need to be someone else to be happy. I'm happy I'm not her now though. Life lessons, kids.

From then on my style improved, and when I discovered Chuck Taylors that really helped too. In middle school I wore button down shirts or tee shirts and looked very tomboy. And in 8th grade I really improved and was wearing overall clothes that I would say fit my style. But currently I think I am the happiest I've ever been in regards to clothing. I still wear, and love, my skinny jeans and converse. And now I've added the wonders of American Apparel to my closet and my absolute favorite- tie dye. I love tie dye way too much. It's an unhealthy addiction. I will literally tie dye any article of clothing and wear it. That's another thing I think is awesome. Homemade style choices. Go to a goodwill or thrift shop and find unique things that you can make your own. And making clothes is so satisfying because it is the best possible way to express yourself. Maybe I'll post about my homemade tie dye collection. We'll see.

So the point of this all is that style is a journey. 

So take inspiration from celebrities, movie characters, book characters, singers, writers, fashion bloggers, Youtubers, Tavi Gevinson, Beyonce, your mom, yourself.

 Take your time, try things, love it, hate it, throw it out, sew it, tie dye it, crop it, cut it, whatever. And if you think that clothing isn't a way you express yourself, then this whole post was a waste of your time. Sorry for not being sorry <3. But yeah. Don't be afraid to express yourself. [INSERT MORE SUPER LAME CLICHES HERE]

Anyways. YAY FOR TIE DYE

Goodbye for now

Say no to Patriarchy

express yourself

Ummm...

Kisses and many feminist vibes,

-Panteha

If you're gonna be a TV head, at least be a Feminist TV head

Hello Hello, 
As promised, Here is my complete list of tv shows that ALL kids should watch because they don't promote gender roles or conform to stereotypes. I still watch all of these so feel no shame in watching if you're not a kid. Unfortunately, none of these run on TV anymore because people are stupid, but complete episodes can be found on youtube and Netflix if you have it. They are ranked from Awesome to Awesome. So enjoy.

1) Kim Possible
I've already expressed how much I love this show. Basically, It's this red-head girl with awesome karate skills and cool sci-fi spy gear who deals with villains and evil people and all that with the help of her friend, Ron (who is in love with her, of course) and this pink rat who can talk. Don't ask. It's awesome and girl-power and yep. She's really brave and should be every girl (and boy's) role model. Much love for Kim. And she had a great midriff.

2) Pepper Ann 
UGH this show was amazing. From the 90s, Pepper Ann was this funky, spunky girl with frizzy hair and glasses who basically dealt with moral issues in her life. She was kinda awkward and geeky and AMAZING, and hung out with a group of outcasts and basically showed what friendship is really like. I liked it especially because she didn't feel the need to be "beautiful", but preferred reading and being intellectual which is (prepare yourself for the cheesiness) the most beautiful thing. Also, her mom's a hardcore feminist who is often contemplating the glass ceiling and proving that woman are just as strong and capable as men. GO PEPPER ANN'S MOM

3) Daria

Please, Please tell me you've seen this show. It's a group of pessimistic teens who show us the idiotic antics of the people around them through their eyes. The main character, Dara, is a wonderfully sarcastic, misanthropic girl. She takes us through her life with her friends and her experiences and embodies the highschool life perfectly. Not really for the really younger ones, but whatev. Amazing and awesome and perfect and YAY pessimistic feminists. 

4) The Secret World of Alex Mack

THIS SHOW. This show is so dang cool. It's this cool 90s girl, who wears overalls and hats and gets into a crazy science accident where she gets powers from getting radioactive goo spilt on her. She can do awesome stuff, but is also really smart, funny and has friends who love her. I watched it when I was... maybe 9 for the first time, and I felt so much girl power afterwards. It's a must watch, despite it's horrible special effects. She also deals the problems with highschool and popularity and what it means to fit in and all of that. As a bonus, it was also Jessica Alba's fist TV appearance, as the mean, popular girl. so that's entertaining too.

5) Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Yay, another girl with powers doin' cool stuff and figuring out highschool. Except she's a witch. And she's played by Melissa Joan Hart. So basically, it's awesomeness. I began reading the comic strips that were printed in the "Archie" and "Betty and Veronica" comic books, and when I found out there was a show, I was so happy. Her cat is a witch trapped in the body of a cat who is wise and chill, and advises Sabrina not only on her witch stuff, but on highschool as well. She deals with parties and popularity, and boys and it's from the nineties, so the clothes are interesting and the music is great. She's independant and smart and lives with her cool aunts (who I thought were lesbian moms when I first watched) and there are no patriarchal men and yep. pretty sweet stuff.

6) Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Ah, Buffy. Every feminist, no, Every WOMAN must watch this show. We have this beautiful, smart woman who finds out she's the chosen vampire fighter that is the only who who can save the world (or at least Sunnydale). She surrounds herself with close, loyal friends who get know as the "Scooby Gang". Not only is this show awesome because Buffy is wildly independant and powerful, but also because she is so real and human. She is a great, dynamic character that grows throughout the series. In fact, all the characters do. What makes this show extra awesome is that it had the first lesbian character on TV. Yes, Alyson Hannigan plays the first shy and timid girl who grows into a brave, strong and openly lesbian vampire-killing sidekick. Buffy not only battle vampires, but also her feeling for the bad boy vampire who she loves: Angel. Anyways yeah. It's a great, girl-power show that warms everyone's heart. Great characters, great storyline. Great, great, great.

7) Sailor Moon

I am obsessed. Not only do I love it because duh- anime, but I just love this story. This kinda ditzy girl named Usagi Tsukino meets this cat named Luna who tells her she's destined to save the world. Do you see a pattern here... cat... girl with powers. yep. So her and the awesome moon princesses 

Sailor Mercury- the brains

Sailor Mars- the psychic

Sailor Jupiter- the... tomboy (originally a lesbian in the original japanese version)

Sailor Venus- the cheerful one

Take on evil forces. they encounter the mysterious Tuxedo mask who turns out to be Usagi's true love. Just a fab show. 10/10 amazing. I the movies actually, before I saw the show. It was my 11th birthday and they were on VHS tape. Ah, memories. So sweet. So awesome. Please watch this show. So much girl power. So much feminist power. UGH so good.

 Those are all the one's I could think of right now :)

If you think I missed any, email me (email in the sidebar). So yeah. I hope I've given you some good material to watch, and I wish you good luck in you Feminist TV show adventure if you choose to take it. 

Kisses and Many feminist Vibes,

-Panteha

A Fabulous comeback

Hello,Hello. I know I have not posted in what feels to be an eternity but I was hit with, like, 10 cold viruses at once and was in no condition to be ranting. I have also been writing a work of fiction that takes up most of my free time. Also, school. Also... lazy.
 Anyways, the point is I'm Back (Yippee, hurray). So now that I have a break from school- oh wait. Un less you live in Arizona, you won't understand. You see, here in the great state of Arizona, kids are actually given a break off of school to go the the rodeo. I know. Only in Arizona. I'm not even going to start on the animal cruelty that rodeos have. SO now that I have a break off of school, I'm going to write again and be happy, and feminist-y and yay. So let's get too it kids.
I'm here today to rant about Disney movies. Particularly, Disney princesses (and women). As a little girl, I never liked the Disney princess movies. Why other girls were so obsessed with the doe-eyed, damsel-in-distress women I could never understand. I did like robin hood, though. He was one cute fox.

Mmmhm. 6 year old Panteha thought he was the hottest 'lil thing alive. 

Anyways. The princesses always frustrated me. Why would Ariel give up her voice and her beautiful fin for a dude she doesn't even know? I didn't get it. Why did it always have to be a prince who kissed the girl to wake them up? Was I the only girl who was like 

"ooohh Gurl, that ain't safe" when Belle started living with "the beast"? In real life, these stories would be horrifying. A stepmother poisons her own stepdaughter out of jealousy. Haha I don't think so. These women who were princesses, or mermaids, or chicks with bitchy step moms, embody all the things that I encourage girls NOT to do. 

1) Rely on men (Save yourself, honey)

2) Change yourself for others (AHEM Ariel)

3) Believe marriage is the answer (seriously, you just met him)

4) Believe that being the fairest of them all is where it's at (because it's not)

5) Sacrifice basic human rights for others (Again Ariel, seriously?)

Those are only a few. I do apologize to those who love Disney movies, but as a half black girl, I was wondering where the black princess was. But I'll rant about that god awful movie that they made just so they would have a movie for every minority race. I also did not like the Disney movies because of the unrealistic expectations they gave me. Seriously, no one's hair looks that amazing. Ariel? I have so many problems with you, you're firetruck -red hair right at the top of the list. All of your sisters are brunettes and blondes and then there's you. Genetics, man. Jasmin? I am half persian, and honey, No one's hair is the size of a tree trunk and down to their ankles. And their small, cute facial features left me looking in the mirror saying "is it even possible to have a nose that small?". Look, all their noses are the same. Literally. Even Mulan's. Even Pocahontas's. Girls are watching these movies over and over and over again and develop these ideas about what they should look like. Unrealistic expectation. Sorry ladies, but you'll never look like Cinderella. Their bodily proportions are just as whacked as barbie's. Also, the way they portray what romance is.... you can't be showing little girls (and boys) that true love is seeing someone once and kissing them and then getting married the next day. I'm not shooting down love at first sight, but still. And, it is impossible to live that close to royalty. You just don't encounter random, single, hot princes riding through the forest, ready to kiss and marry the first girl they see. I know that they're just cartoons, but don't you think that maybe there should be more realistic movies, or some at least where the girl isn't entirely relying on a male figure to save her from her oh so terrible predicament. So instead of having the little kids watching the disney princesses all day, what about some good 'ol Kim Possible? That girl was my hero. I mean, she was just so badass. 

AND she didn't rely on anyone. And her sidekick, Ron, was a respectful dude who totally knew how awesome she was, not some guy saying "Step aside 'lil miss, I wouldn't want you to hurt your delicate self". You know, cartoon network used to be pretty chill when it came to TV shows and movies. I will post my complete list of TV shows that don't enforce gender roles or stereotypes. Pinky promise.

I did appreciate Tangled, because I liked rapunzel's sass. Even though there was still that reliance on a male figure, I did like that she was a more dynamic character that wasn't just a cardboard cut-out programmed to find a prince and marry him. Flynn wasn't even a prince. So bravo on that one, Disney. 

You know what we need, though?

A Disney movie where the protagonist is a really girly-looking man, with a gender neutral name like "Quinn", and gender neutral pronouns are used throughout the whole movie. So the audience thinks that it's a chick the whole movie, but the prince or dude or whatever and all the other characters know it's a guy. Then the movie is great, and sweet and all that jazz. And then at the end in the wedding scene every disney movie has they're both wearing tuxes and it's like SURPRISE, he's a dude, they're gay and everyone knew and was perfectly cool with it. 

So yeah. That's all I got for now

but that was my fabulous comeback. 

Kisses and feminist vibes,

love and defying gender roles

-Panteha 

Ain't No "Barbie Girl"

Hello Hello all you gender role-defiers. Today, in the early hours of the morning (so... like 9:00)  I am going to rant to you about how the Toys are starting the gender-roles off at the youngest age possible. I went ahead and just google searched "girls toys", and I'll make  list of the things that came up:
"Kids Stroller", "Barbie Dream house", "Uptown Espresso Kids Kitchen", "My Very Own Vanity", "My Little Pony Make-up Kit" , "My First Nursery" (complete with a baby doll and all the items needed to take care of the plastic kid) and the worst of them all (in my opinion)- "Lego- Friends: Lego's For Girls". And many, many many more toys that prep girls to be the dolled-up, girly-girl, perfect housewives we're meant to be followed. Great. This is Great. 
And now I googled "toys for boys" (because "boy toy" is not the search I was looking for) and came up with some equally irritating results:
" Deluxe Wood-workshop", "Train and Track Set", "Lego Architecture", "Nerf-N-Strike Deluxe Rapid-fire", "Mega Wave Water gun", "Hot Wheels", "RC Helicopter" and again, many, many, many others that are just prepping boys to me the Manly-man, macho, gun-slinging dudes that are so idolized.
Ok. So what if a boy wants a kitchen? Or a vanity? What if a girl wants Ninja Turtles instead of Barbies? How often do you see a boy pushing a toy stroller down the street? The answer is "rarely". I don't understand why there is this distinct, clear-cut PINK vs. BLUE outlook when raising a child. Pink clothes, toys, bed sheets for girls. Blue clothes, toys and bedsheets for boys. You bring a pink onesie  for a boy's baby shower and there is confusion as to why "you didn't bring blue...". You buy a girl a set of toy monster trucks for her third birthday and she will be told that "they're for boys. not little girls". And what is up with this doll thing? I never got it. At all. I was a stuffed animal girl myself. And I rocked boy clothes for a lot of my childhood. Sorry, but I never got the appeal of playing with plastic, white girls, with unrealistic proportions, eerily smiling faces, and a clothes that, thankfully, don't exist in real life. 

I'm not even joking though. Beware. Girls grow up with these dolls as the "perfect image" and then don't understand why their waist isn't the same width as their jawline, why their breasts aren't torpedo pointy and size DDD, and why their legs aren't as skinny as bendy-straws, and attached to feet the same size as their hands. When little girls grow up with Barbie as their image of perfection, how do people expect girls to be comfortable with their bodies?

http://aramatheydidnt.livejournal.com/4816362.html

This article lays out the procedures through which hundreds of thousands of Japanese women have gone through to transform themselves into Barbie Dolls. Read it and weep. 

And then there's this whole new hype about "legos for girls". SERIOUSLY? I grew up building things with legos, and I still would except those sets are so expensive. anyways. So people were rejoicing because now girls had pink and purple legos, and lego people with boobs and makeup. 

Do we not remember when Legos- just "Legos" not "Legos- Friends"-  were for both sexes? What about when playing with legos wasn't boyish. Why have the Lego Ads featuring girls gone from this beautifully cute ad (just look at that smile *adorable)

To Animated polly-pocket looking girls with girls hair and skirts. Not overalls. We need to appreciate that ad so much more. You don't see girls portrayed like that in adds anymore. God forbid a girl is wearing overalls. Only boys wear overalls. Duh. 

There is no "Unisex" anymore. Dora and Diego. Barbie and G.I. Joe. I know that its great for the toy industry- having something for the girls and something for the boys. They're just rakin' in the cash from the gender-role perpetuation they're promoting without a second though. It makes me so angry that not only is this huge industry responsible for gender discrimination and kids feeling obligated to fall into the cookie-cutter Pink vs Blue roles, but also that parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, god-mothers, god-fathers, family-friends, cousins third removed, and grandparents are actually accepting and promoting the separation of "girl" from 

"boy" toys. 

So your son wants a doll, not a nerf gun. And your niece wants a light saber and Darth Vadar mask, not a toy makeup set. SO WHAT PEOPLE. Let it be. they're just kids. He doesn't have to be gay. She isn't automatically a tomboy. 

So just stop. Por Favor. S'il vous plait. Please. Expression as a child shouldn't be hindered because family member believe girls must behave one way and boys another. In fact, expression shouldn't be hindered by that at any age. 

So buy her Hotwheels, and let him have that doll. 

*Yay* for defying gender roles (Yippee hooray)

And don't be bogged down by the patriacrchal male. Thanks.

Xoxo and feminist vibes as always,

-Panteha

Oh dear god

Let's just take a moment to appreciate this.

are we done? ok good. If you're also feeling a lot of

Feminist-anger  right now I know exactly how you feel-

you just need to calm yourself with some Betty Friedan

Virgina Woolfe and Beyonce. 

 We can get through this together.

This is literally from Maxim Magazine.

No wonder people give us feminists so much hate.

UGH

I'm sorry I just can verbalize my anger right now

I literally jut feeling making a long string of angry

grunts and other noises because there are no words that I

can use to properly capture my utter disgust.

goodnight and goodbye- 

I am receding into my feminist lair for a night of angry muttering

and feminist plotting against the world and stuff.

Ooh la la

Please take a gander at this fine video by Paul O'Flanagan about "fitting in" and individuality and all that presented in the form of a 1950s cartoon. Can it get any better? Nope.
Beauty Now
And while you're there, browse through the Girls' POV section, there are some totally rad videos which I'm sure you'll enjoy. "Evolution" "Fourteen" and "naked: breasts" I recommend highly.
Enjoy
-Panteha

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Hello Hello and prepare to venture once again, back to the mysterious and dangerous place also known as my mind. Firstly, do ignore the sexist nature of my title, which I took from our well known, sexist song. How do you know I'm made of sugar and spice and everything nice? Oh that's right, you don't. Anyways, I chose it because I'm in a Little Rascals kind of mood, and though I won't be ranting about the Little Rascals, I have found some excellent gifs which I will be using from that glorious movie. 
Today, on this particularly regular tuesday, I will be ranting to you about boys.

Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help myself. Moving swiftly onwards. I am, as you probably know by now, in highschool.And as a highschool girl, of course I hear a lot about boys. Highschool is where girls start coming into themselves. We've gone through puberty so *magically* we don't have the bodies of nine-year-old boys anymore. Breast. Butts. Booty, hips, curves. And we like to feel pretty and confident, and for many girls (too many, if you ask me) the main way to feel confident and attractive is to have attention from the male species. It's no secret. Everyone likes compliments. But compliments from boys are special. well, unless the girl isn't straight- that's a different story. So let me put it this way- getting attention and compliments from whatever sex you're attracted to is  a very boosting, and desired thing for us highschool ladies. And for college ladies. and working ladies. there is nothing wrong with liking to be noticed, and being called pretty. sure, it's nice when a guy or girl or whatev finds you attractive. YES I know I kinda perpetuate the whole "I don't need your opinion" thing- which I believe in. But you get what I'm saying. Even though you don't need their affirmation to know how lovely you are, it's nice to hear.

Ok now I can rant. What I don't like- what I despise is when girls/women/female things degrade themselves for attention. Why do you think there is the whole "Ditz" character? For some reason, many men find the clueless, dumb girl who can't do anything but wear cleavage-y dresses really "hot". But we'll get into that in another post. This is for the girls/women/female things. Remember how we talked about... OK how I talked about how changing yourself for other people is the lamest most lame thing that anyone could ever do and you should never do it because it's lame?

Yes, I have a gif for everything. Get over it honey, I know I'm fabulous.

Well this falls under the whole don't-change-yourself-for-others-because-it's.... ok you get the point. I personally do not go to a school where this is a problem (thank god) but it really is at other schools. Girls feel like they have to be dumb and vulnerable for guys to notice them. The damsel in distress scenario is kinda hard to pull of in highschool because of the whole lack of castles and 200 lb. armor thing. So girls instead make themselves seem like they need help from some dude so that he'll be able to fill the desired manly-man, knight-in-LAME-armor archetype and swoop into rescue her from the evil math problem that she just can't solve on her own. Must I make a Mean Girls Reference?? I think not. 

Don't pretend you don't know things. UGH. Being smart is sexy. Knowing stuff is hot. If you degrade yourself, all you're doing is boosting the dude's ego, and it may seem like you're benefiting...but do you really want people thinking you're a "ditz". No honey.

Also, this whole thing about guys not liking girls who are smarter than them is such crap. 

Dudes- if you feel threatened by girls to the point that you only find those who are less intelligent than you attractive then you need to GROW UP. Women aren't just sacks of potatoes who just roll around and can't solve math problems or conjugate verbs in french class, waiting for you to swing them over your shoulder and carry them into the sunset. And if you don't feel threatened and you just "don't like them" then I don't know what's wrong with you, but obviously something is. Sorry, was that too harsh? Sorry for not being sorry :)

And for the lovely ladies. Be proud of you're smarts, and be proud of your everything. If you don't know how to do the math problem, fine. If the conjugation of "aimer" in french just doesn't click, cool. But be proud of yourself girl. JEEZ there I go being all  mushy and inspirational. I try not to, I swear. But I just want all you lovely girl/woman/female things to stop trying to make themselves dumber, ditzier, vulnerable..er? More vulnerable, more helpless. Be strong, and remember

Ok? Ok. And if you encounter someone who can't handle you in all your glory, then here are some steps to walk you through the process:

1. Smile 

2. flip you hair, or some equally sassy action (snapping gum, placing hand on hip rolling of eyes or all in combination are recommended) 

3. turn around

4. begin walking away

5.finish off with a 

And I think that'll do it. 

So yeah kids, that's all for tonight. Next post will be about the male side of this, and then another will be about my love for Jessica Rabbit and other Femme Fatale Characters... so *whoop whoop* look foreword to that I suppose. Don't forget to submit or write to me if you got anything to say (email in the sidebar, duh).

Be well, be swell. Ummm... don't lower youself.... Smart is sexy... I don't really need to recap the whole post.... my gifs are amazing.... Watch the Little Rascals...

Yeah. 

Kisses and many feminist vibes

-Panteha

Throwin' Some Tunes Your Way

A playlist to listen to when you feel the need for Feminist inspiration

and exhilaration. 

Enjoy

Braided Hair, Mocha Skin

Hello Hello all you beautiful creatures. It's been a while, I know. But I'm back in all my feminist glory to rant about something a little different tonight. Myself.
Hi, I'm Panteha Abareshi and I am, without a doubt, a woman of color. God, that sounded cheesy. But anyways- I am half Jamaican and half Iranian and Canadian (because I was born there...). The point is I'm all over the place. 
I spent the 8 vital years of childhood development (age 5-12) at one school, with a group of people that remain generally constant. I was the only black girl for a very long time, and all of my friends were white. I grew to envy them slowly, and racked my brain but couldn't grasp why I couldn't look like them. You see, I have this thing called an afro rooted to my head. I've had it all my life, and I don't think it's going anywhere. But all my friends had naturally straight, glossy hair and I Just Didn't Get It. I wanted so badly to have light, long hair that I could toss effortlessly over my shoulder as I laughed, or get cut into bangs. But I had, and still have thick, dark hair that grows out, not down. So I wore my hair in pigtails that my father would comb my hair into for me. Yep. 3-4 braids adorned at the ends with colorful beads, and held in place with equally colorful hair ties. And then I was introduced to perms. Hurrah! Now I could finally get the straight hair I had lusted after for so long. All I had to do was fill my hair with chemicals that made my scalp burn and made my ends coarser than steel wool. But I was overjoyed to finally be able to wear my hair down, and I felt like I fit in more. 

I'll spare you all the agony, and We'll fast foreword through the awkward year that elapsed between then and now. So, voila. Here I am. I'm still Panteha Abareshi. Duh. But I've realized something my younger self could've really used. I know now that I shouldn't change myself just for the purpose of fitting in with others. UGH THIS SOUNDS SO "SELF-HELP"-Y AND LAME. But I don't really know how else to say it, so go along with it kids. I don't have to. You don't have to. Nobody has to. If every kid changed themselves to act and look and talk and walk and smell and eat and think like one person- one "popular" "pretty" "perfect" person- then what we'd be left with would be a big, stinkin' pile of clones. 
INDIVIDUALITY IS 

I should have never hated my 'fro. Or wanted green eyes instead of my brown ones. I don't have to be fair skinned to be beautiful. I don't have to be a size 00 to be attractive. I sport my box braids proudly, and I honestly don't give a damn about what people think I should do to myself for this and that reason. I wear what I want (which is mostly just tie dye and jeans), act how I want and if people can't accept that then that's not really my problem anymore.

So to the "weird kid" who's hair is a beautifully kinky mess. To the "awkward" tall girl who towers above her classmates. To the "nerd". To the "losers". The "weirdos". "Freaks". "Geeks". To everyone who is deemed abnormal by someone who fits the random bill of perfection society has created: please, please don't make yourself change to please other people and fit in. 

God I hate that ridiculous saying. Fit In. The phrase suggests that life is like that stupid game babies have where they have to fit the shaped blocks into the specific holes. The circles into the circle hole. the Squares into the square hole. So where do the hexagons go? The nonagons? And what about the dodecahedrons? Ok, it may seem like I'm just showing off my extensive knowledge of geometric figures, but I swear I'm not. The point is this. Don't make yourself a square just to fit into the stupid, pre-cut hole. Ok. forget this metaphor. Listen up kids. It's really not worth it. I learned the hard way that changing for the people around you rather than for yourself doesn't do anything but make you miserable. In grade school  highschool, college, life (or whatever comes after school), it may seem lame and hard to find people you can relate with, but changing yourself to fit in with the readily available people will just suck even more. so... yeah. avoid that. If you just be yourself, then I'm sure you'll find people who you can accept for themselves and who accept you. In fact, I guarantee it- just like in the Men's Warehouse ads. 

So lets just all be weirdos together, and have weirdo relationships with other weirdos. Let's all be awkward, and strange, and funky and crazy together. And Let's just enjoy it. 

Goodnight from one PROUD weirdo to another

-Panteha

Yay, Flaming Homosexuals

Hello Hello, all you human things.
Tonight, from the very pits of my Feminist Lair, I will be ranting about Flaming Homosexuals (yay yippee Hooray). 
I am so glad to be living in this day and age, where being gay is more and more and more accepted. Finally when people say that there is equality in the U.S., there will actually be equality. I am also glad that I am mostly surrounded by extremely accepting people. People my age around me feel very safe, and aren't afraid of expressing their sexual orientation. Bi. Pansexual. Demisexual. Gay. Straight. Lesbian. Asexual. Queer. Trans as well, but that is a gender identification (duh). And btw "Queer" is not an insult. It's actually an identifying word that is used by non-straightys. Anyways. I'm extremely lucky to be in this gay-ok atmosphere. This is not to say that there still isn't discrimination and bullying of people/youths in the LGBTQ* community. I know that it's still, infuriatingly and unfortunately, a huge problem that the LQBTQ* community deals with. So I'm here to talk about stereotypes  which is something I'm quite good at so yay.
There is this weird attitude towards the gay population. It's like people pick and choose from the different types of sexual orientations which ones they want to support. 
"well yeah I support gays, but being Bi is just stupid! Why don't they pick one or the other!" or
"I don't think two dudes is right, but yeah, I love lesbians". Ummmmmmmm excuse me. No, Honey. It doesn't work like that. You can't just pick and choose what you like and don't like. This isn't an Icecream shop where you can get the flavors you like and ignore the one's you don't. It's a cone with every flavor or no ice cream at all (BAM. ice cream analogies always get people attention). Men tend to "love" the lesbians, and women tend to "love" the gay guys. There is this fascination held among the male population with lesbians (I'm sure you've all noticed). It's the porn industry, and the fact that, well, two women  means double all the good bits and peices women have already. It's fine for two women to being seen in public kissing. it's "hot". Seriously, it's sickeningly misogynic that men "support" lesbians because of  purely sexual reasons. But two men? suddenly it's inappropriate. And with women- highschool girls all want to be hags, and have a gay shopping buddy that they can gossip with and watch Sex in the City with. Can people just stop expecting gay guys to be these fabulous little fashion gurus, who make bold fashion choices, and are miraculously all makeup professionals? I unfortunately cannot speak from the perspective of a gay guy, but I'm sure that some of the gay dudes aren't like the ones depicted in the ABC family TV shows, with frosted blonde tips and immaculate cuticles.  Or, you know, Bruno. 

I can feel the fabulous through the screen, can't you? 
There's this confusion in our society regarding the fact that LGBTQ* people are no different in variety of actions and personalities than "regular", Straight people. 
Now regarding Lesbians. Why, oh why, is there such a negative image associated with lesbians? This image of the manly, short-haired woman who wears teeshirts and hates dresses is what society has depicted the lady-lovers as. Why is it that as soon as a woman is not all "feminine", dressed in bright summer dresses and picking flowers and wearing cute eyeshadow and being pleasing to men she is automatically gay? And why is it that only women who don't fit the "feminine" standard are used as the typical lesbian image? Sure, there are more "butch" lesbians, but there are also effeminate ones too. It feels so stupid writing this, because I feel like I'm just stating the obvious, but evidently not, because people still hold these stereotypical images of what they think gay or lesbian or bi or anything-besides-straight people look like. UGHH just stop it people.

I can't be the only one who's frustration emotions on this matter are perfectly depicted by the gif I so kindly provided.

And um, why does it even matter. Why does society have to characterize the LGBTQ* community as looking significantly different from "normal" people? Probably so that it's easier to label people. If someone looks like that instead of this, then they must be gay. Or lesbian. or whatever! Society had created these... what's the word I'm looking for? False... Hyperbolized... Generalized... insulting... images of what queer people act and look like so that it's easier for people to make judgements and assumptions. 
But why do people care so much. Why does who a guy loves or a girl sleeps with really matter to you? It's not like people being gay is going to somehow negatively effect the earth. Population isn't going to decline because suddenly everyone's gay and babies aren't being made (gay couples can actually have kids. Shocker, I know). Ok, so your religion says that it was Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve or whatever. Ok. Cool. So... how about instead of coming and making other people's sexual preferences your personal business, you leave it alone and live your life, free of rainbows, and butterflies, and unicorns, and all those things that come with gay people. The people that are so madly against gay marriages, and picket and protest and throw tantrums are the very same people that wouldn't even notice if gay marriage was legal! Do you really think that if gay marriage was legal, the homophobic couple would be affected? Would their lives become bleak and unbearable because two people who love each other are getting married like every other hetero couple? Yeah, I don't think so. If you don't support gay marriage, then please, stop picketing, go home and live your life. Who are you to stop two people from loving each other?  From stopping them from being able to adopt a child that they will love and raise and nurture with the love of any other family. From stopping them from being able to save their loved one's life because the insurance companies don't except same-sex-couple as a relationship for paying someone's hospital bill.  Literally, please stop. I'm asking so nicely. picketing won't help. Yelling won't help. Hating won't help. Nation-wide equality for the LGBTQ* population is inevitable, so You're just going to piss off me and other, innocent people. And trust me, You don't want to piss off an angsty, teenage, feminist blogger.
So what I hope you got from this post, which was all over the place, was that you don't have to talk with your hands to be gay, or have your wallet on a chain and wear basketball shorts to be a lesbian. Sexual preferences aren't ice cream flavors. Picketing is pointless. Gay people won't lead to a sudden population decline.  

Can we all just be Gay-Ok? Thanks, kids.

And as much as I'd absolutely love to stay and keep writing, I kinda have something called "school" which I must legally attend. Like jury duty, but not really. Except for the part about legal obligation. So I'm gonna catch some shut-eye, because being a blogger kinda tends to drain all the energy and sleep out of you. I hope all you lovely things had a good MLK day and

No dissin' Same-sex Kissin', Ok?

Ok. Goodnight, and goodbye as I receed back into my feminist lair.

-Panteha

52 Reasons Why I Am A Feminist

Hello Hello all you strange things

Tonight I've finished my little creation- a deck book of why I am a feminist. 
A deck book is basically a deck of cards turned into... wait for it... a book. So I took a 1.50$ deck of cards from Walgreens, wrote every reason I could think of for being a feminist (or at least 52 of them), punched some holes and voila. 

 Using just some sharpies and rings hanging around the house, a little bundle of feminism can be made by even you, mysterious stranger. Here are some of the inside. I mixed two decks, one red one black, to get the colors and cards I wanted. 

So there you have it kiddos, this is what I do with my free time. Enjoy. Be inspired. Feel the feminism coursing through your veins!! Well, okay. Maybe not coursing through your veins... but you get the idea. 
Anyways, I'll probably do more crafty stuff like this and share with you guys, forbidding that I don't get sucked into the unescapable pit that is NETFLIX. 

Goodnight from my feminist lair,
Panteha 

I say What I Wanna Say

Hello Hello all you lovely things

Today I am here to write to you all about the wonderful art of talking. I, myself, quite enjoy talking. I like vocalizing my thoughts, and I will tell someone what I'm thinking or feeling without hesitation. But just because I happen to conform to the stereotype that says all girls/women/female things talk more than men DOES NOT mean that it is true.

Take a gander at this article published in a health and science magazine:

http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/HomePage/Faculty/Pennebaker/Reprints/MehletalScience2007.pdf

If you're too lazy to click the link and read it, I'll just tell you what it says. I have been scientifically proven that women do not talk more than men. In most cases, the amount of words spoken per day is basically same for men and women, and when there is one group speaking more, it's the men (shocker). So HAH! Take that, Society.

Of course, even with the proof and the research that these kind people have given, it's not like the stereotype is going to disappear. Firstly, the people that need the most correction aren't seeking the information. Secondly, the media portrayal of your "run-of-the-mill" woman is absolutely horrible, and not helping in any way. On every TV show, or in any book series there is that one character that is the moody, loquacious female that just goes on and on and on and on and on about stupid, girly things that no one gives a hootin’ damn about. And so all the watches are just like “UGHHHHH shut uppp” and that is how the stereotype that all women are airheaded and emotional and talkative is immortalized.

What really makes me even the more angrier is that this whole thing about us women talking too much is miraculously linked back to the other, equally stupid sterotype that women have uncontrollable emotions. We’ve discussed this before, have we not? But let’s go again because, well, rants are my thing ; )

Women are portrayed by the media to be these hyperbolic versions of characters like Jackie from THAT 70s SHOW (who we all love nevertheless). 

Air-headed, bubbly and emotional, and self-centered. According to society, we do everything too much. We talk too much, we cry too much, we complain too much. Yes, we are all Jackie Burkharts. And it all ties back to that one, stupid stereotype about how we just talk too much.

And so what if women did talk more than men? Why should an entire population of people of people be judged by something so arbitrary as the number of words they say in a day? It's not like what we are saying is less intelligent, or any less valid then what men are saying. Are words aren't just repetitions of nonsense that we babble just to hear our own, beautiful voices. Women are stereotyped as talking more because society expects men to be much quieter. 

But talking more.... Why does it matter? Such a broad stereotype as "Women Talk more than men" is just so blatantly ridiculous that I don't know how people still believe it. There are 150 million women in the U.S. alone, 3.6 billion in the whole world. That is a lot of ladies. So a generalization, so groundless, so stupid, of the 3.6 BILLION women on this earth is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of (besides cheese in a can... because duh cheese in a cannnnn). There are talkative women, sure. I am one. But there are quiet women. One's who are shy. Who don't constantly share their thoughts to others. And there are talkative men. I know, it's  shocker but there are people who don't actually conform to the stereotypes (gasps and dramatic fainting from the audience)

And it's just... accepted. This completely false statement is, like, a generally accepted thing- that women talk more than men. People don't think twice when they see the characters that falsely represent women on TV. People just kinda say "whatever. Makes sense" because of this endless cycle of stereotypes surrounding women that are just forever branded into our image.

 Women are very emotional- so they talk about their feelings a lot- they talk about their feelings a lot so they must talk about other, equally airheaded things as well. This flow-chart of flawed logic is just circulating through society like the endless orbits of Jupiter's moons. 

Ugh I know, my analogies are kinda lame sometimes. But Whatever, the point remains! It's not just this one, stupid stereotype. It's a whole freakin' chain of them, wrapped around women, impossible to break free from. 

No, we're not more emotional, Society just doesn't let men show theirs. We don't talk more, and it's been proven by the magic of Science. It's just these assumptions people make, that one stereotype is true, using only the other stereotypes as basis of judgement. Do you guys get what I'm saying?

Yes? Yes. Ok? Ok. So can we just... stop making stereotypes? No. We can't do that. ok. So can we at least stop perpetuating them? When you see a lame, hyperbolized remake of our beloved Jackie on some ABC family show, don't just accept her character. Stand up off your couch and say 

"Uh-Uh. That is not a correct representation of the true demeanors and actions of women in this society!"

...Or... something along those lines. We just need to stop accepting the stereotypes that society puts so nicely in our laps, wrapped in believability and topped with sugar-coated gender-roles. So let's do it kids. I believe in us.

Goodnight, and fight those stereotypes

-Panteha