it feels like it's been ages, but it's only been two day. So I'm back, from my extremely short hiatus, with a ready-to-rant mind and fingers prepared to type away. Today... or rather tonight, I will be ranting on about the fine art of Seduction. I know. So exciting.
In our society, seduction is rather one sided, wouldn't you say? You never really hear about a man trying to seduce a woman. Guys don't go out and buy sexy boxer briefs to put on for their girlfriends. No, it's always the women who are expected to put on all their bells and whistles and be physically appealing for others. And there I go again, using old-lady phrases. Anyways. There is a whole clothing industry specifically revolving around women and their seduction. Victoria's Secret. Fredericks. Then there's the music industry, filled to the brim with mediocre rap songs about sexy women and lines like "up in the club". We girls/Women/female things hear this music, sung (or rapped?) by famous artists, and feel that they need to have X,Y and Z qualities, as listed in the song, for men to notice them. One major one being nice hips, or more eloquently put, a nice booty. There is this obsession for women to have tiny waists, and disproportionally large butts and busts. If you haven't gotten where I'm going with this, I'll just go ahead and show you.
Yes, everyone's favorite song "BABY GOT BACK" has been permanently etched into everyone's mind. I knew the first few lyrics (which are really the only one's that matter) of this song when I was in 3rd grade, I kid you not. I have no idea how, but every child learns the line "I like big butts and I cannot lie" before they reach the 5th grade. It's like a right of passage.
But I digress. My point is that women are constantly hearing that to be "sexy", they need disproportionally large assets, and regularly sized limbs.
Back to the whole "only women have to dress up to be sexy" thing I kinda introduced in the beginning. Yes, men can put on suits (do I need another Barney Stinson Gif? I don't think so.) and charm the ladies with their blazers and skinny ties, but really. It is nothing in comparison to what women have to wear to be "sexy". Short skirts, tight shirts, high heels, low cut, see-through. off-shoulders, strapless, midriffs, nice legs, daisy dukes. Show some skin here, some there- but not too much (remember kids, there's a confusingly blurred line between "sexy" and "slutty" that no one really gets). Then there's makeup. smoldering, smokey eye makeup, and rouge lipstick, with bold eyeliner, and lashes as long as Yzma's from the Emperor's New Groove.
Yeah. So you get the picture. Unrealistic expectations.
And yet... we girls/woman/female things do it. We go out and buy short dresses, and provocative underloos, and we doll ourselves up, as to attract the male attention that comes with lookin' hot. What is a bit... unfair about the whole Seduction Shebang.
Girls/Women/Female things are expected to have this natural-born knowledge of how to seduce. For some reason, we are expected to know what guys like. We're supposed to know that granny-panties are not acceptable forms of underwear when on a route of seduction. Somehow, we're supposed to know that playing hard to get is actually "cute", and acting eager is just... "desperate". But then... innocence is hot? So Ok... We have to play hard to get, but be innocent... while maintaining a provocative style of dress, though not overdoing it to the point of desperation. Makeup is good, but not too much because *DUH* it's like a given rule on that one list of the RULES OF SEDUCTION that doesn't exist.
(I couldn't resist adding a Breakfast Club quote. How could I not?)
There's this pressure for girls/women/female things to know exactly what dudes wants, sexually, physically, emotionally. It's about the sex. I'm going to plainly state it, because I've been beating around the bush thus far. Seduction inevitably leads to sex. Women, like I've mentioned in many a posts past, are often seen as simply these objects, that are really just good for carnal purposes (and not much else, in the eyes of my arch nemesis: society). Women dress in their provocative articles because it adds to their sex-appeals (thus their sexiness, which I've been discussing previously). And it makes me so mad that not only to men, and society demand these qualities of women as to give them sex-appeal, but also the fact that women just let it happen. We accept the indirect discrimination delivered to us by society that is delivered in the form of complements, and male attention. (INTERNAL SCREAMING). Why don't women just stop letting men and Society demand of them to be constantly sexy, constantly provocative flirty, hot, fine, whistle-worthy and all those other, wonderful adjectives.Women don't stop it because we've become so accustomed to this treatment over the course of history. Yes, women can vote, and there are women senators (though that doesn't really say much because of the 100 senators, only 20 are women so...). But have we really made the strides we should have in the course of the time that has elapsed since we gained suffrage? No. Girls/Women/female things are still often (but not always) seen as docile creatures who are best at looking pretty and fulfilling the carnal needs of men.
Even in highschool. Girls walk around the hallways in these amazingly cute outfits, their hair perfectly done, and their makeup spot on. I just want to throw them one of my many, signature oversized tee-shirts and say
"honey. It's ok to be comfortable sometimes". I respect every girl (and guy's) desire to wear the clothes they want because I know that the style of dress is greatly important to me, as well as others. But I know that these girls aren't dressing like that just for themselves. Popularity in highschool for girls is, unfortunately, majorly made up of the male attention they recieve, which is directly linked to the clothes they wear, and devastatingly detached from things that matter more. like personality. Or number of Breakfast Club quotes memorized.
I will admit, I do wear heels to school on very rare occasion, but I can usually be found in a teeshirt (of the homemade tie dye variety), jeans and chucks. Beauty doesn't need to walk hand-in-hand with glamour. Beauty is sweatpants. And messy hair up-does. Beauty is all that cheesy stuff 80s movies taught us. Beauty is also dresses and heels and makeup and all the things we wish we had time for every day. But UGHH that kind of beauty, the kind that we draw on with eye-liner pencils, and squeeze into with a pair of cute black stilettos is hard to keep up. And it's unnecessary so much of the time. Take out those hair extensions gurl, and wipe off that bronzer. Sex-appeal (from my teenage POV) doesn't need to include a sexy mini dress. I'm begging, on my hands and knees- please, can women stop doing such things solely to get the attraction and approval of men. Ladies listen. Don't dress up just for the attention of the opposite sex.
Seduction is all good and well, but can we just stop with this ridiculous perpetuation of these unrealistic expectations of what women should be physically and sexually. Women are smart, strong and sensual creatures. and We should be proud, and have high standards. Not accepting of the judgements and check-lists doled out by society, and certainly not tolerating of the expectations men have for our dress and our demeanor.
Hugs, Kisses and piercing glares to misogynists,